"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
02/13/2015 at 22:38 • Filed to: None
5
4|
"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
02/13/2015 at 22:38 • Filed to: None | 5
| 4 |
So we're doing a monster BMW E12 project for a guy, the car will be truly amazing when done, and pretty much nothing will be left untouched. The scope of the project is always changing in some regard. I'm doing payroll tonight and had to close out this period's invoice for the car, which is usually something the shop owner handles because I want nothing to do with it. Nothing had been finished as far as writing up the work accomplished this time around, so I decided to have some fun & leave a dummy invoice on the shop owner's desk for when he comes in tomorrow. Here follows my writeup, thought I'd share it for fun:
Install bow thrusters. Fit Point Defense Cannons. Fabricate dorsal fin from frankencense & myrhh. Discolor inboard headlamps. Mill letter "J" into wheel spokes. Paint 1 door blue. Hang disco ball 47.4" from windshield centerpoint. Upgrade star defense missile shields to version 9. Fit dilithium crystals behind glovebox. Make your depth 65 feet. He wants to go up, we'll play along. Re-laxicate forward portion of central driveshaft to transmission yokel. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. Sew whale penis headliner very delicately, minding the gaps around the sunroof. Syncronize center 2 throttles to open precisely 3.2 degrees in advance of the outboard plates. Bolt on big fucking turbo. Make sure it spins. Live your life 1/4 mile at a time. Put blue dots in taillights. Polish oil cap. Name it Andrzej. Hold off advance from the Eastern flank. Weld extra gear on side of transmission. Turn right outside mirror upside down. Tear the roof the sucker. Remove super custom BMW turbo engine & fit 2 Toyota Prius drivetrains side by side. Fit "No fat chicks" license plate frame. Monogram headrests with owner's name. Belay that order, soldier. Full speed ahead. Ensure clearance for variable aerofoils at high speed. Dive planes 30 degrees. Fit pinwheels to front fenders. Bolt in Rolls-Royce starry fiber optic headliner. Glue Farbon Ciber stripes on sides. Put "5.0" badges on doors. Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling. Upholster rear seats in your finest polyester. Very greasy. Wire seat ventilation to blow softly, as in a morning sunrise. Fabricate air ducters under upper bumper trimmers. Check airflow. Finish the damn car.
Cheers all, have a great weekend.
ly2v8-Brian
> RallyWrench
02/13/2015 at 22:42 |
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I love it when a plan comes together.
pip bip - choose Corrour
> RallyWrench
02/14/2015 at 08:38 |
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please let us know his response.
G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
> RallyWrench
02/14/2015 at 11:47 |
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I'm dying!
CaptDale - is secretly British
> RallyWrench
02/14/2015 at 15:15 |
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This is so perfect!